It's been 5 years since my case against Trimet was settled. From the accident in 2017 until the settlement in 2020 my lawyer advised me to stop blogging.
By then I was out of the habit of journaling.
Today is Christmas, 2025 and I'm alone. I feel okay but I miss family time.
It was either 1994 or 1995 that we were altogether for the last time on Christmas morning. I knew it would be our last family Christmas together. 2 years before Ken moved out of our shared bedroom. Then he announced that he was going to move out and get an apartment.
I was feeling disheartened but I was happy we were altogether that day- Andy, Kevin, me, Ken and my parents.
It takes both partners to make a marriage. I tried. We went to marriage counseling. That counselor fired us because Ken said he was not willing to try and fix it.
We later went to another therapist - John, the Lifeway counselor. That didn't last long. Ken stated that there was nothing wrong with him. He left the session slamming the office door so hard that things fell off the wall.
I continue sessions with John. I needed guidance.
I started taking computer classes to get ready to get a job. I took a class on investing in the stock market, I didn't know our family finances but I knew Ken made a lot of money.
I engaged a lawyer for advice. I asked if it was okay if I was the one to move out. She said yes. I started looking at apartments. In the meantime Ken continued to sleep upstairs. He complained that the apartments I was looking at were too expensive. That angered me. He was the one looking to separate but he complained about the cost.
The next day I went to the lawyer's office and signed the divorce papers. I remember that it was in August on Amanda's birthday.
My lawyer advised me to gather our financial info. I found the file that showed where I had paid the down payment on our first home. I used the money that I gotten in the car accident settlement. I took it to the lawyer. I had planned on putting it back in the file cabinet. She said that he didn't need it and she kept it.
On her advice, I took out all the financial papers that I could find. At 1 AM I took the papers to a copy center. I copied them all crying the whole time. I knew Ken didn't know where I was and he wouldn't care that I was out alone late at night. I felt so alone.
The following evening I served the divorce papers to Ken. He laughed.
