February 28, 2011: another weekend at the "home"

I have been busy trying to get the tax stuff together for Jim's business. It just started at the end of September and he made no money. Even so, there is tons of paperwork to sort through. Next, I have to start on our personal taxes.

Jim was in the gym when I arrived on Friday. He was working on balancing on the edge of the mat. The little old ladies in the gym love him. They told me how he is working so hard and what a good temperament he has.

Jim has been in positive spirits since this drama began. Yesterday was the first time Jim told me he was getting bored. It's too bad that there isn't any patient there for Jim to be friends with. The people there are really old and senile. Or, the younger patients have serious mental problems. Of course, he loves all the nurses and therapy staff but they're too busy.

I suggested that I bring him some books. He's not interested in that. I brought him a book on tape. He watches a lot of TVLand and PBS.

I've gotten him to go outside with me several times now. We take a bag of fritos out to the courtyard and feed the birds. There are a gazillion sparrows nesting in the bushes around the fountain. We watch the birds and I knit.

He gets leg spasms and I have to lift his leg up and move it for him. Jim can't move his legs at all during a spasm. Just moving it a little gives him a lot of relief.

I did some stretching exercises on his arms and legs. Mostly I work on his fingers. They are stiff and keep curling inward. The OT wanted me to work with his index finger especially. His thumbs work well but the nerves for them are located higher up the spinal cord. I stretch his fingers to try to loosen them up. Jim says he can feel the finger muscles firing but they are too stiff to respond.

His legs are getting much stronger. He can kick both his legs pretty high. He wants to walk again so badly. I told him that he needs to work on his arms more. He will need arm strength to walk with a walker.

February 24, 2011

This morning I left messages to Barbara and Worth at TIRR. They haven't called me back yet.
Then I called the Aetna case worker, Laverne. She said that there had been no decision made yet. That Jim would have to be discharged by the doctor before they could give me a discharge date. So, then I called the doctor and spoke to Ray, his PA. He looked in Jim's file and there is no discharge order. He said that it would be up to physical therapy to advise the doctor to discharge Jim. So, then I called Kevin, the PT. He said Jim is progressing very nicely and that he can still do lots to help him. He said he wouldn't recommend discharge yet.

I asked Kevin if he would tell Jim the news. He did but he didn't tell Jim that he had spoken to me. Jim got someone to call me so he could tell me the news. We both wanted to make the other feel better.

I don't think Nishani at Sharpview meant to upset us. She only knows medicare policies. I'm not sure why she was so happy to tell us that she had a discharge date when she didn't. I try to think people are nice so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt this time. She just didn't understand.

I received a return phone call from Sonia Wilmore at TIRR. She is taking over for Barbara Jackson. She knew all about Jim's case and confirmed that the plan was for him to stay at the nursing facility for around 3 months and then go back to TIRR. She said that the insurance company reevaluates once a week. She said I could contact her again if I needed more help.

February 23, 2011: insurance threat again

Jim and I were having a nice visit. Then, at 4 PM, Nishani, the social worker at Sharpview, came into the room to tell us that Aetna has decided to send Jim home next week. She actually seemed happy about it. She's supposed to be on the side of the patient, not the insurance company. She said that Kevin from PT said that he couldn't do any more for Jim.

I immediately went down and asked Kevin. He said that he said that he could not meet Aetna's timetable. I guess Aetna thinks that Jim should be up and walking around after 4 more weeks of therapy.

I left a message with the case worker for Aetna, Laverne. Hopefully, she'll call me back tomorrow. I will have to start the appeal process.

Jim looked like he was going to cry. He was even ready for me to go home early. I am reacting very well. I'm not crying and having suicidal thoughts like last week. I sure am glad I found a doctor and she prescribed wellbutrin for me.

I don't know what we'll do if the appeal doesn't go through. I'll have to set an alarm for every 2 hours so I can turn Jim in bed. If the insurance company doesn't provide a lot of home health care, he will have to suffer when I'm at work. He's not strong enough yet to move himself in bed. His recovery will slow way down without the intensive physical and occupational therapy that he needs so badly.

I tried contacting Barbara Jackson at TIRR last week for help with the insurance company. She had told us that Jim would stay at Sharpview and then go back to TIRR. She acted like Aetna had agreed to this plan. I called her again today and left another message. Tomorrow it will be one month since Jim left TIRR. Barbara's obligation to help us ends tomorrow. If she continues to not return my calls, I'll have to go track her down at TIRR.

February 23, 2011

I haven't seen Jim for two whole days! Yesterday I was so exhausted from the pain of my dental surgery that I went home and crashed.

Today it still hurts but not as much.

I hope that the case worker at Sharpview is not going to tell us that Jim will be kicked out soon. Yesterday I had an appointment with my orthopedist. He is going to write a letter stating that I am not strong enough for all the lifting required at home. My knee is a lot better but I still don't have a kneecap so I can't take the "lift with your knees!" advice.

Yesterday was the first day that I've looked forward to going home since Jim's fall on 11/24/10. Usually, I don't even want to leave the office. It just doesn't seem like "home" now that Jim doesn't live there.

Today I told someone at work about Jim's condition and I didn't start crying. Guess that wellbutrin is working for me.

Leaving for Sharpview in a few minutes......

February 22, 2011: 2 less teeth to clean

Yesterday I had 2 of my teeth pulled. One had decay under its crown and the other was the wisdom tooth that was next to it. My friend, Lupita came over at 7:30 AM to take me to the dentist's office since I would not be able to drive myself home.

The dentist gave me 2 halcion pills. He said they would relax me so I would tolerate the procedure easier. They really worked. I don't remember much at all after taking them. At 2:30 PM I woke up in my bed and wondered how I got there.

I took a vicodin that the dentist prescribed. The pain wasn't too bad at all. Though I did feel drugged so I couldn't get any work done around the house.

I took another one at 9 PM and went to sleep. At 3 AM I woke up and took another one. This morning I just feel tired. I wish I could just stay home and rest. But, knowing me, I probably wouldn't rest very much anyway. I've got too many things that need to be done at home.

I have a 8:30 AM appointment with Dr Stocks this morning. He's the surgeon who did my knee replacement in July 2010. This will probably be my last appointment with him for a while. I need to ask him if I should still take celebrex. I was supposed to see him in December but I was too busy with Jim.

I'm trying to get my personal needs taken care of before Jim is sent home. I still need a mammogram and an eye exam. I put these things off because I was tired of doctors after having 2 surgeries over the summer. Ironic, isn't it? Now most of my life revolves around hospitals, nursing homes, doctors, nurses, etc.......

Lupita was wonderful yesterday. She took me to and from the dentist and got my prescriptions for me. She may have done more but I don't remember much of yesterday.
I am so grateful to have Lupita as a friend.

Thinking about this makes me so angry at my son, Andy. I used to think that Andy would be there if I needed him. But, he doesn't even call me. I wrote him an email on Sunday telling him how hurt I feel. He hasn't responded. Taking antidepressants allows me to feel anger. Before the wellbutrin I was disappointed in Andy and wondering what I had done wrong to have him treat me this way. If I spoke to him at all I was very careful to not tell him how sad he was making me. Now, I feel the anger and the disappointment.

February 19, 2011: letter

Jim's mother sent him a letter. Here he is reading it in bed. He was able to manipulate the pages pretty well on his own.

February 18, 2011: Jim's new trick

The physical therapist, Lois has been working very hard with Jim. She has him on the mat learning to roll himself around. He can use his heel to help move himself plus use his arms.

She had him pull himself forward in the chair by holding on to a bar. Jim tried it without the bar when I came in. And he can do it! Leaning forward helps him shift his weight so his butt doesn't get so sore.
The photos show how Jim pulls himself forward.

He stayed in his chair for a long time on Friday since he didn't have as much pain. I even got him to go outside into the courtyard. I tell him that just staying in his room is boring. But, actually it's depressing to me and I bet it is to him, too.