June 8 2017

I finished with my therapies by 11 AM today. 11 is really early since I'm scheduled for 85 minutes/day.
So, now I'm bored.
They are now letting me have ibuprofen and I'm feeling better.  It's funny that feeling better leads to boredom.  I have my computer, kindle and TV for entertainment.  I had hoped to be exploring Portland during June, not recuperating.

I laid down from 11-12:30.  My butt hurt so bad from the lumpy mattress that I got into my wheelchair.  I sat outside for awhile. Now I'm in the dining room waiting for bingo to start.  I hope it's not too too lame.

Bingo was okay. Play is slow for the more handicapped people.

I've engaged a lawyer to help me with the bus company responsible for my injury.  She has a good reputation.  It's an Oregon law that cases do not drag on for years.

This is the third time that my life was changed in an instant.  In 1969 a car rammed my car into a tree.  I lost my kneecap causing a permanent injury.  At the time of the accident I was midway in my second year in college.  I had to miss 2 semesters to recuperate.

In 2010 my husband and best friend fell injuring his spinal cord and became quadriplegic.  My life as I had known it ended.  For months I took care of him and my elderly mother.  Besides the amount of work I also was suffering from a kind of post traumatic stress disorder.  Visiting TIRR, the specialty hospital for spinal cord injuries, exposed me to so much pain and suffering.  Young wives would be pushing baby carriages next to their husbands in wheelchairs.  There were  people suffering brain injuries screaming and crying.  Then, of course, I had to learn how to take care of my permanently paralyzed husband. (It turned out that he also had a brain injury.  Subsequently, he decided he never loved me and we were divorced.)

Now it's 2017.  I worked so so hard to move to Portland.  I had to sort all my possessions.  Pack up what I could and sell my house.  I arrived in Portland on May 19, 2017 ready to make a new life for myself.  3 days later I was walking my dog and was hit by a city bus.  My hip was broken, suffered a concussion and many cuts and bruises.  I had emergency surgery and stayed at a trauma hospital for 4 days.  Now I'm in my third week at a skilled nursing facility.  I am thrilled that I did not suffer a brain or spinal cord injury.  Nonetheless, my life has been changed and set on a different course.

I now have a permanently injured right hip.  I'm learning how to walk with a walker.  I'm using some of the same equipment here that was used at TIRR.  I'm surrounded by injured people.  It's very difficult for me.  I can't help but relive some of the memories of the pain I suffered during my husband's stay at TIRR.

I am working hard at rehab.  It hurts- a lot.  But, that's the only way that I can recuperate.  I don't know how much of a disability this injury will cause me.

This is definitely not how I imagined my life would be like in Portland.  The injury will make my transition so much more difficult.  I can't go out and explore the city.  I'm lucky that I can use the walker to make it down the hall.

Maybe this will be the last major life altering incident that will happen to me.  But, then again, maybe not.

2017 May: Trip to Portland: Day 4

We started our morning in Montrose, Colorado.  We stopped in Montrose - cause its name is Montrose.  It is larger than Trinidad but not as cute.

It was in the 40's.  I was excited that I got to wear jeans again.  We walked to a coffee shop with a patio for breakfast.  It was closed that week.  So Andy ran into a McDonald's and we ate at a little table on the corner.
We went back and packed up the motel room at the Black Canyon Inn.  Andy had to lift up the mattress and box springs to get to Stella and put her in the car with us.

After breakfast Sweetsie was ready for another nap.

It didn't take long for us to make it into Utah.  The area around Moab was really cool.  But after Moab the terrain became very rocky and desolate looking.

We stopped in Green River, Utah for lunch and a stretch.  The cafe had coffee bags and Van Gogh prints decorating the ceiling.  The proprietor was a character.  She said that the city had just gotten phone service a couple years ago and they were still adjusting to the new technology.  Personally she preferred the old method of smoke signals.  One great thing - Sweetsie was able to come to the cafe with us.  Another dog was asleep in the middle of the floor.

It started raining and getting cold.  

We passed by wind mills among the rocky cliffs.Another big storm was brewing after we passed Provo so we stopped just outside of Salt Lake City.  It was about 5 PM so we wanted to avoid traffic, too.  This time we plugged the holes under the bed so Stella wouldn't be able to burrow into the box springs and hide.  Right now she is wandering around the room searching for a good hiding place.  She ate a little of my hamburger.  At least she ate something.  We were getting worried about her.

Sweetsie continues to be in doggy heaven.  She has me to sit on in the car during the day and Andy takes her out for long walks.  She cries whenever Andy leaves the room.  I told him that he should stay in Portland with us.

February 5, 2017: My house is being shown today for the first time.

My house has been stripped bare of personality.  It is a blank slate so potential buyers can imagine themselves living in it.  Today at 3 a realtor will be showing it to her clients.

Here is a link to my house's listing.  The pictures look really good.  They don't show my huge laundry room though.  I have to take more boxes out to the garage so it will photograph better.

http://www.har.com/5442-Dumfries-Dr/sale_49086669

The house has been a good investment.  It's close to the Medical Center and freeway access.  If only it could be "beamed" to Portland where it would sell for over a million dollars!  I hope to find someplace I can afford there.

January 31, 2017

I finished!  I've packed up all non-essentials in the house.  It took me a month of sorting, organizing, donating, packing to get to this point.  Tonight was my first evening "off."

It's been a painful process.  I bought my house with loads of promise.  I didn't have to do all the work. I had a partner.  Now, I'm selling the house - alone.

 It is no blessing to have a good memory.  I remember who gave me the various gifts for my first wedding or my second wedding-  for marriages that were supposed to last a lifetime.  I've found cards swearing eternal love from both of my ex-husbands.  No point in holding on to them so I threw those notes away.

I'm so envious of people who have had long and mostly happy marriages.  Where did I go wrong?  I guess I made bad choices.  I know I have my shortcomings.  Things became difficult but I always remained loyal to my husbands.  Unfortunately I did not inspire their loyalty to me.

I'll move to Portland soon and get a fresh start on a new life.  I won't be alone there.  My son and his family will be my support system.

January 18, 2017

Another torrential rainstorm in Houston today!  These storms always scare me.  At least today I'm at home and not trying to go to work or get back home.  The rains started during the night.  I decided to not go into the office today.  I only work 4 hours on Wednesdays.  It didn't seem worth the risk of driving in.

So, I'm back at my manual labor job at home.  Still packing and sorting.  This weekend I found all my drawing supplies in my laundry room.  So, I haven't drawn in a few years.  Does that mean I should give all my supplies to Goodwill?  But-- when I'm in Portland, I will be retired and have time to draw again.

What about all my jewelry making supplies?  Keep some and donate the rest?

Knitting needles, yarns and instruction books- In Portland I'll finally be able to wear the hats and scarves that I knit.  I'm trying to use up all my wool yarn to knit a multicolored blanket.  After it's finished I plan to wash it in hot water and make the fibers dense (fulling).  I gave a bunch of whole skeins to my sewing group, partial skeins to Goodwill and I still had to pack a big box of yarn.

Not to mention my sewing supplies!  The realtor said I could keep the sewing machine and fabrics up.  She said people would realize that it's a workspace.  Wait until I have to sort through all that stuff!

I had a picture in my mind of the apartment that I was moving into - a 2 bedroom in the Heights at Columbia Knoll.  It is a low income senior apartment complex.  But, then, I got denied admittance.  The compliance officer said that I make too much money.  It's hard for me to imagine some poor person struggling to survive on my part time job salary.  The officer took my current income and added in my potential social security income and decided I would earn over the low income max.  But, I may not work after I move.  My social security has not started yet.  She said I can reapply next year.

That just sucks.  She also said they check income yearly.  If a tenant earns too much, she is booted out.  Imagine being 85 and getting an inheritance and forced to move out.  So, maybe it's for the best.

Now I will have to go back to Portland and find an apartment.  Then I return home, hire movers and Andy and I will drive my car to Portland.  I don't plan on unpacking a bunch of my stuff.  I'll probably have to move again after a year.  I'm going to spend the year getting to know Portland and deciding where I will finally settle.  Maybe I'll be willing to buy a small house then.  Right now I'm weary of all the stress and costs that come with home ownership.