November 24, 2016

It's the sixth anniversary of the day my life was forever changed.  My husband of 10 years fainted in the bathroom and became instantly and permanently paralyzed.  I've already written about what the 2 of us went through during the months that followed.

I was aware that life as I had known it was over.  I've recovered from the shock of his accident and I've even gotten over the shock of his later behavior.

But, I'm still mourning the loss of how my life used to be.  I was married to my best friend.  My mother lived with us.  I was never lonely.  Of course we had our ups and downs but overall we were happy.

Now I miss the  lifestyle.  We had a good relationship.  We took short trips frequently, played cards with friends, had real conversations, faced life's problems together.  I had hoped I could have a similar life again.  It's been 6 years and I have been trying to rebuild my life.

I guess I'm lucky that I had those happy 10 years.  I still hope to make a happy life for myself.  I've learned that I have to be independent.  I enjoyed sharing the responsibility of home ownership with my husband.  It's difficult to do alone.

I'm ready to give up owning a home.  It's so expensive and I worry about flooding, property taxes, roof leaks, etc. etc.  My plan is to move to an independent senior living apartment in Portland, Oregon.  My rent will cover a 2 bedroom apartment, 2 meals per day, covered parking, maid service and some entertainment.  I will have to give up some privacy, a roomy house and 2 of my cats.  But, I will be in a group environment and no longer alone.  My son, daughter-in-law and 2 grandchildren will only be 6 miles away from my apartment.

The other residents are mostly 10 - 20 years older than me.  But the years go by quickly and I'll be the OLD one soon enough.

In my senior years I hope to more fully explore my hobbies, especially doll making, do more exercise, explore the Northwest, go on an Alaskan cruise, travel and spend lots of time with my grandchildren.  I would also enjoy a part time job so I will be part of mainstream society.

The future looks promising.

September 14, 2013: My new puppy!

I love poodles!  They have such cute curly hair and sweet dispositions.  For years I have been wanting a tiny poodle for a pet.

In 1999 I adopted a 3 year old dog that one of my co-workers was wanting to dispose of.  She told me that it was just an itty bitty dachshund mix.  She brought him to my house in a tiny pet carrier.  She said that he stayed in that carrier all day when she was at the office.

He was no tiny dog - at least 20 pounds - but he was cute and he needed me.  I kept him until he died in 2011.

I couldn't get another dog back in 2011 because I was still coping with my 3 cats, my job and a quadriplegic husband.

Then that husband decided he wanted to marry his young caregiver and he moved out.  The divorce was final in February 2013.

After adjusting to my new situation I decided to search for a tiny white female poodle or poodle mix.
I went to one shelter that had a cute dog,  but I would have had to take her brother, too.  3 cats plus 2 dogs just seemed kind of ridiculous to me as a single woman.

I would look through the petfinder's website every day.  Then I found the cutest little girl.  She was at the Pearland Animal Shelter.  Pearland is a small city about 25 miles from Houston.  I called and she was still available.  I zipped over there, filled out the paperwork and passed muster with the shelter people.  I got my beautiful approximately 8 month old puppy for a mere $35.00!

She was just so cute that I kept calling her Sweetie.  Her official name now is Sweetsie.  The animal shelter would not let me take her home until she had been spayed in a Pearland animal clinic.  I found one that could do the surgery the next day.  Sweetsie came to her new home the next evening.

I walk her in the morning and evening every day.  I have to go with her to the backyard because the new fence is too high off the ground.  She had a few accidents during her first few days.  But, she is learning and walking her helps.

The only problem is my poor kitties.  They have holed themselves up in my sewing room.  If Sweetsie sees one out she chases the poor thing.  The cats get so scared.  I've learned to hold her back when we return from a walk or when we come out of closed room.

Tonight I didn't see poor Stella in the hallway in time.  Sweetsie chased her throughout the family room and kitchen while I yelled "no, no!" at her.  I had to give her a spanking and then clean up the glass broken by Stella jumping all over the place.

I feel sorry for the cats.  All they have to do is jump up on a chair to evade Sweetsie.  But instead they start running.  I miss my kitties.  I hope everyone will adjust soon.

Sweetsie is so happy to see me when I return home.  I have to pick her up and she is just ecstatic.  When I'm home she is my constant companion.  I have even started letting her sleep in my bed.  She has had no accidents during the night.

Sweetsie is so excited to be lifted onto the bed at night.

The photo in this post was taken by a Pearland police woman at the shelter.  Isn't she just the most adorable little dog?

August 26, 2013: Walking - again!

Walking is definitely my favorite form of exercise.  Back in my college days I would walk the loop around the campus of SUNY Albany.  That was back in the olden days before walking and jogging became popular.  I'd be pretty much alone the whole time - no other walkers.  Drivers always wanted to give me a ride - of course, I was pretty cute back then.

I've walked between 1 and 2 miles three times in the last 5 days.  I am ecstatic!  It has been years since I could indulge myself.

First, I had the left knee problem - no cartilage, but I kept walking.  The torn achilles tendon finally did me in.  I had that repaired in 2010 along with a knee replacement.  All I had to do was wait until I healed and I'd be able to walk again.  Then 2 toes on my right foot decided to buckle under - I couldn't wear anything but sandals.

I would have just walked in sandals but then the ex' accident happened in November 2010.  My only walking was up and down the hospital hallways.

Now I'm free- AT LAST!  I had my toes fixed in May 2013.  They are all healed and I bought a pair of walking shoes.

It was raining earlier this morning so I thought I would have to just use my indoor bicycle.  Then I saw on the news that it was in the 70's.  I couldn't pass up the opportunity to walk in relatively cool weather (for Houston).

My varicose veins are still acting up but I think the walking will settle them down soon.  Yesterday I spoke to my brother.  He has the same problem.  He had a vascular ultrasound last week, too.  This is old hat to me.  But, John isn't familiar with the vein thing.  Mine started when I was pregnant with my second baby.  Mostly they don't bother me at all - just look ugly.  My brother is a professional golfer.  He exercises all the time.  I guess I'm lucky that my problem isn't worse since I'm female, pleasantly plump and was relatively sedentary for the last few years.

HURRAY FOR ME!!!!