I put together a website with some of my Mom's photos. If you're interested, check it out at https://evelyncalabria.shutterfly.com/. There is a way for all members of the site to add their own photos and memories.
I am doing much better emotionally. After all I had been mourning the loss of my mother since the dementia took her away a few years ago. We had many happy years before that.
It is amazing to me that words have so much power. In my last post I wrote that I was a widow. Just writing "widow" lifted some weight off my heart. I had to look at lots of photos to make Mom's website. Many of them included Jim, my departed husband.
Now I can look at his photos and remember some happy moments in my life. I don't get those daggers of regret: "how could this have happened?" and "how could he have done this to me?" I don't want to forget the years between 1998 and 2010 when I was happily partnered with him. Before it was so painful. Those years are only memories now, not heartaches.
The "man" existing now, Jim Carpenter, is just a shadow of the man I had been married to. Just a shade, a ghost. Like any ghost I hope not to encounter it ever again.