Monday, January 30, 2017

January 31, 2017

I finished!  I've packed up all non-essentials in the house.  It took me a month of sorting, organizing, donating, packing to get to this point.  Tonight was my first evening "off."

It's been a painful process.  I bought my house with loads of promise.  I didn't have to do all the work. I had a partner.  Now, I'm selling the house - alone.

 It is no blessing to have a good memory.  I remember who gave me the various gifts for my first wedding or my second wedding-  for marriages that were supposed to last a lifetime.  I've found cards swearing eternal love from both of my ex-husbands.  No point in holding on to them so I threw those notes away.

I'm so envious of people who have had long and mostly happy marriages.  Where did I go wrong?  I guess I made bad choices.  I know I have my shortcomings.  Things became difficult but I always remained loyal to my husbands.  Unfortunately I did not inspire their loyalty to me.

I'll move to Portland soon and get a fresh start on a new life.  I won't be alone there.  My son and his family will be my support system.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

January 18, 2017

Another torrential rainstorm in Houston today!  These storms always scare me.  At least today I'm at home and not trying to go to work or get back home.  The rains started during the night.  I decided to not go into the office today.  I only work 4 hours on Wednesdays.  It didn't seem worth the risk of driving in.

So, I'm back at my manual labor job at home.  Still packing and sorting.  This weekend I found all my drawing supplies in my laundry room.  So, I haven't drawn in a few years.  Does that mean I should give all my supplies to Goodwill?  But-- when I'm in Portland, I will be retired and have time to draw again.

What about all my jewelry making supplies?  Keep some and donate the rest?

Knitting needles, yarns and instruction books- In Portland I'll finally be able to wear the hats and scarves that I knit.  I'm trying to use up all my wool yarn to knit a multicolored blanket.  After it's finished I plan to wash it in hot water and make the fibers dense (fulling).  I gave a bunch of whole skeins to my sewing group, partial skeins to Goodwill and I still had to pack a big box of yarn.

Not to mention my sewing supplies!  The realtor said I could keep the sewing machine and fabrics up.  She said people would realize that it's a workspace.  Wait until I have to sort through all that stuff!

I had a picture in my mind of the apartment that I was moving into - a 2 bedroom in the Heights at Columbia Knoll.  It is a low income senior apartment complex.  But, then, I got denied admittance.  The compliance officer said that I make too much money.  It's hard for me to imagine some poor person struggling to survive on my part time job salary.  The officer took my current income and added in my potential social security income and decided I would earn over the low income max.  But, I may not work after I move.  My social security has not started yet.  She said I can reapply next year.

That just sucks.  She also said they check income yearly.  If a tenant earns too much, she is booted out.  Imagine being 85 and getting an inheritance and forced to move out.  So, maybe it's for the best.

Now I will have to go back to Portland and find an apartment.  Then I return home, hire movers and Andy and I will drive my car to Portland.  I don't plan on unpacking a bunch of my stuff.  I'll probably have to move again after a year.  I'm going to spend the year getting to know Portland and deciding where I will finally settle.  Maybe I'll be willing to buy a small house then.  Right now I'm weary of all the stress and costs that come with home ownership.