Wednesday, November 23, 2011

November 23, 2011: Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of my last normal day. I don't remember what I did that day - probably just looking forward to a long weekend.

Jim most likely was at his desk looking at stock market numbers.

The next day, November 24 is the day that our lives changed forever. Jim fell at around 5:45 that evening and immediately became quadriplegic.

I am still mourning our lost way of life. I hope that getting over the huge hump of the one year anniversary will bring me some relief.

Monday, November 21, 2011

November 21, 2011

I got to play in my studio a bit over the weekend. I finished sewing a stocking for my grandson Kenny. I had a good time making it. I'll post a photo soon.

I also finished my drawstring bag. I decided I'd keep my knitting in it.

My studio is a big mess again. I can't seem to make anything without creating havoc. I am trying to be sure to clean up the room after each project.

Monday, November 14, 2011

November 14, 2011

Jim used his walker to go from the family room to the bathroom last night. That's the farthest that he's walked in the house.

Meanwhile Mom's senile dementia is getting worse. I have to continually remind her to take her meds and keep her feet elevated. Every time I look away she puts her feet down on the floor. Her ankles keep swelling causing stasis ulcers.

Yesterday Lupita told her why she had to keep her feet up. She told Lupita okay and how smart she was. The next minute her feet were back on the floor.

At least there is improvement in Jim's future. Mom will just keep getting worse. It is difficult to watch and very emotionally draining.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

November 6, 2011: 11:45 PM

Mom is up again. Walking and moaning her way into the bathroom. What do I have to do to keep her safely in bed?

I'm too tired to go to sleep now. Plus, she might just fall again. Or, Jim might call me for something.

I either have to take a sleeping pill and sleep through whatever. Or, stay awake tonight and be half dead tomorrow.

November 6, 2011

The paramedics just left. Mom fell out of bed again. I had to tell her not to cry and scream or they'd take her to the hospital. At least she listened to me.

A couple of years ago she pressed her lifeline button and the paramedics came when we weren't home. They took her to the ER. She probably scared them with all her crying. Andy, back before Jim got hurt and he still spoke to us, showed up at the house but the paramedics wouldn't listen to him. Mom spent the whole time in the ER complaining that she wanted to go home.

Tonight I put a diaper on her and told her to just stay in bed. Usually she gets up at least a half dozen times to go to the bathroom. I think she forgets that she just went and gets up again.

I don't what to do. I know she gets better care here than at a nursing home. I'm afraid that if I put guardrails on her bed she'll forget about why she has them and start screaming.

The stasis ulcers on her legs are getting worse. She just won't keep her feet elevated.

Jim is more cooperative. He gets cranky but he tries to take care of himself a bit.

At least if you are reading this blog you can stop reading at any time. When people ask me how I'm doing, I tell them. It upsets them. I wish people would only ask if they wanted to hear the answer.

I really dislike when strangers ask "how ya doing?" instead of a simple "hello."

I guess that makes me strange. I have to work at remembering that they think they are being "civil." I don't know why I can't get that through my head.

November 5, 2011

Tonight Jim used a walker to walk from the kitchen table to his bed in the dining room. This is a BIG deal. He was walking with his back straight and lifting his feet. The next big destination - the bathroom!

Yesterday I was at the Quilt Festival from 10 AM to 5 PM. I was still tired this morning. Since I didn't take my scooter I had to choose between shopping and admiring the quilts. Shopping always wins. I wish I had had enough energy to go visit the ASG booth, see the art dolls and wearable art.

I'd have to pay a sitter again to go another day. So, I packed in as much as I could in one day. I wasn't even sure that I wanted to go this year. I never got to play with my purchases from last year. Jim's accident occurred just a couple of weeks after the show.

I decided to go and not buy any fabric or clothes. I did really well. I only bought 3 fat quarters - of cute cats and a poodle. I want to make Kenny some diaper covers with them.

I went through lots of planning in choosing which handbag and shopping bag to take with me. I ended up throwing my purse into the shopping bag. I bought a half apron to hold my credit cards, cash and phone. Later I found a cute little compact bag to carry - it was only $8.00. It worked better than the apron since it was easier to look into. The tote bag worked our very well. It got heavy quickly since I put my coat and large fringy scarf into it early on. The convention center was too warm.

I bought a pattern to make a light weight wallet and one for a drapey vest. That was it for pattern purchases.

Several booths had Laurel Burch stuff. I couldn't resist buying 2 silk scarves for $5 each and a large tote bag for $20. I purchased one strand of beads and 4 strands of french ribbon to make necklaces from.

I finally found the little table top needle threader that I had heard about. I got a hemostat to replace the one I broke recently. I found a pair of scissors that Jim could use and a couple of clamps for his occupational therapy.

I wanted to buy these flower makers that I read about. I couldn't remember the name but I knew the manufacturer was Clover. Nobody knew what I was talking about. I did find some locker hooking needles. I read an article on locker hooking that looked pretty interesting so I want to try it out. It looks like a good craft to do while watching TV with Mom.

All in all I am proud of myself for resisting all the beautiful fabrics, yarns and embellishments. My sewing time is more limited now and I don't need more projects waiting to be made.