Saturday, September 26, 2015
September 26, 2015: getting rid of some of the past
When I was dating the shithead, previously known as Jim, we would shop a lot together. I was enjoying the freedom of being single and having the ability to buy whatever I wanted. There was a Warner Brothers Store in the Galleria. We'd go there and I'd buy more Catwoman stuff for my collection. The store also carried Pepe LePew.
It seemed to suit Jim and me perfectly. He was Pepe and I was Penelope. So, that started my Pepe collection. We even had a Pepe and Penelope wedding cake topper and champagne flutes.
But then came Jim's accident and all the traumas that went with it. I lost him a second time when he came home from the hospital and started hating me. I feel like my heart is so scarred from these events.
I've been working hard at cutting away at the scar tissue. Today I was able to get rid of some more. I sold almost my entire Pepe and Penelope collection this morning. I met a man who collected and sold memorabilia. We agreed on $60.00 for the whole lot. I threw in about 15 teapots as well.
Tonight I'll take Bert out to dinner with the money from the sale.
I've been having what I call "waves of sadness" for the past couple days. After the divorce I packed the Pepe stuff into boxes and stored them in the laundry room. I guess dragging it all out again brought up memories.
I wish there was a magic pill to erase the tragedies from my mind. I would have to erase the good memories, too. Jim and I had a wonderful 10 or so years together. But those good memories bring up the horrible ones along with them.
I keep on working at my new life. Eventually, the memories will fade away. I don't even feel the pain anymore from the dissolution of my first marriage and that lasted for 23 years!
This, too, will pass.