I'm not really unhappy. Unsatisfied is more like it. The new life I made for myself is okay. But, I always have a kind of "antsy" feeling, like I need to go somewhere, do something.
I've traveled a lot on my own in my new life. I was happiest when I was visiting in Japan -being with family. I loved being with Kevin in Portland, too.
I did enjoy my trip to Germany. I'm glad I went. I always wanted to go back to Germany. But, it was lonely on my own. The cruise was just okay. There were things I wanted to go to on the cruise - like the comedy club, karaoke, a show. The other women I was with weren't interested so I went alone.
I think about that dumb Barbra Streisand song- "people who need people are the luckiest people in the world." Those are the stupidest lyrics ever. If I didn't need people so much, maybe I could be satisfied on my own.
I've been spending my time sorting through all my stuff, getting ready for the big move to Portland. My life feels like I'm on hold. Kevin has to sell his condo and buy a house first. I want to be as close to the family as possible. Then I have to sell my house. It will take time. I worry about leaving the friends I have in Houston. But, friends just aren't the same as family. I want to be with family.