August 20,2011

Jim, Lupita and I were going to attend the Abilities Expo today. We all decided that we were sick of handicapped stuff so we're not going.

I rarely think about going anywhere or doing anything. I'd be thrilled to just spend time in my studio.

Yesterday I got up, put on my horrible support hose on and went to the grocery store at 8 AM so I could beat the blazing sun. It didn't have everything I needed. When I came home from the grocery store Mom was sitting at the table wanting to be fed. She was doing her "I want a drink" routine. I brought her orange juice and I told her that I couldn't face cooking eggs because I was so overheated from going to the grocery store, bringing in all the bags and putting stuff away. I told her that I'd make her a good lunch later.

Then I went to Walgreen's to buy what the grocery store didn't have and to get a prescription filled. I got home and had to get Jim dressed and ready for company. His friend, Kevin McGregor came to visit him.

I started to make lunch but I kept feeling whoozy. I told Mom I had to sit for a while. She said that I should rest a bit. But then she immediately started her "I'm hungry, I'm hungry" routine. She wanted me to bring her an orange. I reminded her that I had to sit down for a few minutes. Her demands drive me crazy. I guess you really do become a child again when you get old. She has gotten very demanding and self-centered.

I made turkey burgers and squash medley for lunch. I cleaned up the kitchen and then went to hide in my studio. I just didn't want to hear Mom's constant moaning and groaning for a little while. Jim found me and I had to help him with the urinal.

I went into my bedroom, laid down and passed out for a couple of hours. I knew that Lupita would be coming soon to take Jim to the gym. I just got all worn out. I think I'm too old for all this caretaking. I guess I'm lucky that we can still afford to hire people to help.

Then I got up and started making dinner and cleaning the kitchen some more.

Maybe I have to hire a sitter and leave the house in order to get some time for myself. I just am not interested in going out alone. Jim and I used to do so many things together and I got spoiled. Plus, it's over 100 degrees outside and my support hose make me super hot.

It's 8 AM and Mom is stirring in her room. Time to be starting the day again.

I told my boss, Carole that coming to the office was like a mini-vacation. Even copying books is preferable to cooking and cleaning.

Now I'm the one moaning and groaning! That's why I haven't been blogging much anymore. I don't want to write how I feel sorry for myself. But, it's my life so I document it.