Saturday, June 2, 2012

June 2, 2012: I'm tired of moping around.

Jim and I used to do everything together.  We were busy most weekends - estate-saling, movies, out to dinner, plays, art openings, day trips, exploring back roads.  I was totally spoiled - he was my best friend and lover rolled into one!

Then the accident happened.  It's been a year and a half.  Jim is much, much better now.  But, he is still afraid to go places with me alone.  He doesn't think I'm strong enough to take care of him.  I'm not strong but I'd sure try to keep him safe.

There's no changing his mind.  Most of the time I'm pretty content staying home on the weekends working on my hobbies.  I'm not asking for much - go to a movie once in a while or out to dinner  It has been so long since we've had fun together.

I have to work on getting out more on my own.  I did go out to an early dinner by myself yesterday.  It was okay-a first step.  I still haven't gone to an estate sale alone yet.  I used to go by myself long before I met Jim.

I know how lucky I am that I can get up by myself, get in the car and go somewhere.  Jim can't do that, not yet anyway.

Sometimes I feel like I'm paralyzed, too.  I don't do things because I don't want to do them alone.  It's no nowhere near as much fun being alone.

Tomorrow I am going to the JCC and sign up for Tai Chi classes.  That will get me out of the house one day a week anyway.

I'm thinking there are lots of other people like me.  With the internet why should anyone have to be alone.  There is a website "meetup" that helps people meet others with similar needs and interests.  Anyone interested?  I'm thinking of becoming proactive and see if I can organize something.  Enough of this moping around!